


Right Here to the Left of You

by amdnj, kitarin



Category: Kamen Rider W (Double)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:56:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1773235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amdnj/pseuds/amdnj, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/pseuds/kitarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the days after the events of Begins Night, Shoutarou's a train wreck and Philip's a fish out of water... but if they find a way to understand one another, will they figure out what they're meant to be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Here to the Left of You

_Freedom was so strange. So frustrating._ This wasn't anything like he'd thought it would be. He'd thought it would be so interesting to go with the man (or was he really a boy?). That was something in conversations that had been lost upon him. _Human._ He knew he was that, so perhaps he should just stick to that. Such complications in terms and labels, none of which he really understood the differences between. Humans were strange. Speaking of that. Where was that human? His eyes darted, as he pushed his hair out of his eyes for the hundredth time. Perhaps he should fix that. There was no one to cut his hair on routine like they always did. Perhaps the human wouldn't mind giving him a solution. Then again, maybe having hair would be nice. There was purpose for such a thing wasn't there?

Looking around, his hands grazed over the table. It was too quiet. His fingertips grazed over a binder clip, and after squeezing it a few times, he deduced that this would solve his dilemma. After placing it in his hair, his boredom was once again far too...existent. His eyes found the human. Shoutarou? Yes. The man was reading a book. Humans were strange in their hobbies. Philip had no need to read books like that. Everything at his fingertips was faster, and such books were boring, honestly.

His world twisted for a moment, and he didn't understand why it had been slightly harder to sleep. He'd recharged earlier hadn't he? Or sleeping as the human called it. Ah, terms were unimportant. "Shoutarou." His own voice surprised him, as he rose to his feet and leaned over the table. "Is there something you need me to research? Perhaps, I could make a memory? I'm sure I could tweak it to work with the driver we have. It would be useful, right?" There was something in his voice he didn't understand. It came out jittery, and his eyes widened with words that he focused on. He squeezed on the edge of the table. The old clothes and the binder clip in his hair really only making him look more....jittery, anxious, and possibly unstable.

It was a rainy day. Rainy days were always best for doing… pretty much nothing. Terrible for bike riding, terrible for people-watching, terrible for leaving the agency at all. Shoutarou sat at the boss' - no, his… - desk, feet kicked up, one ankle cross over the other, a book open in his lap… but really, he was watching raindrops slide down the glass of the window beside him. Would the one on the left or the right win…? His eyes tracked their movement, but just as the two drops crashed into one another and slid straight down and out of sight --

Philip's voice so close-by made him jump, rattling the mug of terrible cold coffee on the corner of the desk. How the hell could the kid move so quietly? Or was Shoutarou just that lost in a daydream...?

It had only been a few days, but he still wasn't used to it… not the kid being here… or the boss being gone. He tried to keep his sob fests for late hours when the kid was passed out and couldn't see him. It was too soft-boiled, letting your charge see you cry. "Umm…" he started, looking up at Philip's wide eyes and - "Is that a binder clip in your hair?" he blinked in surprise, not actually answering the question(s) at hand. _Why is he so… weird…?!_

Ah. How inconvenient. A question instead of an answer. Humans were so inefficient. "Yes. It is keeping my hair out of my eyes. Doing that is more efficient than constantly getting my hair cut or having to push my hair continuously back. Isn't that correct?" There was a tone in his voice, that Philip, of course, did not understand. However, it came off as condescending, as if Shotuarou should not have asked that question. Wasn't it obvious that it was a binder clip? Did he need him to reconfirm it? Though, perhaps the question was more a why and not a confirmation? The human should ask his questions correctly, honestly. Not ask a question why he is trying to get an answer.

The way Shoutarou looked at him sent some sort of reaction through him. It was different than the apathetic looks of the scientists. The human was so fascinating. He didn't really understand it, but, perhaps, he could study the other and figure it out. There was so much he did not understand. _Humans. So strange._ "Is there anything I can do?" He repeated the question again. "Make memories? Research something for you? Make something?" The world twisted before him, and his grip on the table was the only thing keeping him standing as he nearly fell to the side. He acted as if it didn't happen. Just some sort of temporary bug in his system, he supposed.

Shoutarou carefully took in the tense posture and the tight tone to Philip's voice as he took his feet off the desk and let his chair re-settle to properly upright. The boy was positively jittery and just looking at him was making Shoutarou edgy in return. "Anything you can do…" he repeated, scratching awkwardly at the back of his head. Well, the kid was a lab rat, right? He was probably used to having a list of projects a mile long… but Shoutarou barely understood how that crazy belt even worked, so it wasn't like he could offer much advice on the subject. "Research…uh…"

Research what? Make what? Shoutarou felt hopeless to give Philip something to do, aimless and left adrift by the loss of his mentor… Usually Shoutarou had his own task list a mile long, given to him by the boss, or, if there was nothing that needed doing, he was told to… "Don't you know how to occupy yourself?" he found himself parroting Narumi's words without even thinking about it. "Or just… I don't know… relax?"

"Occupy myself? Relax?" Philip wasn't quite sure what that was. He debated doing a look up on that. Though, there were no blank books in this house that he knew of. Ah, perhaps he should ask the human about that. "Shoutarou, is there perhaps a book with no words in it at this agency? It is most important for me to function." How could he do his task without his book? There was too much to focus on, even for something as smart as he was. He would do a look up on what those words meant. It wasn't as if he could ask the human. No, his answer would be muddled and confusing. The library was a much better option.

There was something about the other that made him feel...as if he was in a similar condition. The man in the white suit had seemed like an authority figure that helped the other function. Where they the same, then? Devices without an operator? Ah but no, the other was human. He had the ability to... Philip stumbled again, his legs feeling weak and having to use both hands to function. Ah, perhaps he'd have to recharge again. Or maybe those pills the lab used to give him were needed. Would the human know about those? They had said they were... _nutrients_ or something. Most likely fuel. Humans needed nutrients. But he was not human. Right?

The puzzled expression on Philip's face was enough to tell Shoutarou that he had no idea what those words meant, and he was… afraid to ask Philip about his prior experiences. What if something he said triggered bad feelings, bad memories? Maybe the kid had been abused…? Philip was an enormous puzzle, and there was no one to give Shoutarou any clues, any advice, any help...

_Is this my task now, boss? No more lists? Just this…one… precious… project?_

Shoutarou swallowed hard, tried to push down the melancholy and the grief that threatened to overwhelm him.

_Focus, Hidari…_

Rising smoothly to his feet, he held out a hand as one might to an unfamiliar animal, palm open, unthreatening, before he touched Philip's shoulder lightly. "A blank book? Why would a book be blank?" he asked curiously, coming around the corner of the desk and doing his best to give Philip all of his attention. The boy seemed paler than usual and… what time was it anyway? When had they last eaten something? Shoutarou had been finding it hard to have any kind of regular schedule in the few days since their escapades, and his weary heart had overridden his own hunger more often than not… "Hey, do you maybe want to eat something?"

Shoutarou's face was wonderful. It was more....varying that any other human he'd ever come in contact with. Granted, the scientists all had the same look, but he'd seen other humans, and no one could make the faces this one could. There were such subtle differences that made completely different looks, and Philip found the corners of his lips turning at how wonderful and fantastic that was. The human was fun to watch. Ah, he'd spaced. The other had taken a while to speak anyway.

"I suppose to you it would be useless, but I need it to focus. I cannot access the library without a book. Too much information at once." Did the human even know what he had? What he was? Did the human understand the tool he and his authority figure had stolen from the lab? Not that he was complaining, but perhaps that was why there was an issue. It was like having something without an instruction manual. "I am, after all, a dat--"

_Eat? Ah?_ "Eat?" The word seemed important, but again, it was not something he knew of. He leaned forward, his feet suddenly nearly impossible to rest his weight on. There was an unfamiliar pain in his middle section. Was there perhaps a bug in his system that caused pain when he was away from the lab? Ah, but it would have gone off sooner. "What do you mean by that?" His eyes scanned the other's face curiously.

Shoutarou's eyebrows furrowed and he squeezed Philip's shoulder, cool but soft under his hand, as normal as his own… "Eat? Food?" Actually, now that he thought about it, had Philip actually eaten anything Shoutarou had left laying out when he'd come back from his last run for sustenance sometime yesterday? He couldn't be sure… "And I'm not going out in the rain, so it'll have to be something that delivers…"

Talking almost more to himself than to Philip, he let his hand slip off the other's shoulder and turned to pull a stack of menus from under a magnet on the fridge. "Pizza, maybe? Or Chinese?" He held out the menus before attempting to answer the other bizarre statements. "You want to go to the library?" Glancing at the clock, he shook his head. "It's already closed for the day, but if the weather clears up, maybe we could go for a ride tomorrow?" Looking Philip up and down, he continued, as gentle as he could make his voice sound. "Maybe get you something more 'suitable' to wear, too, literally? Heh… " He tried to make a joke, but it fell flat and his cheeks colored slightly as he stood there holding out the stack of menus.

"Food? Ah? Do I need that?" Philip asked, genuinely confused. "I have never eaten before." Not in his collective memory at least. Unless those pills for fuel were food. But he wasn't human, so why did he need those? "I have only been given nutrient pills for fuel so that I may serve my purpose." There was nothing in his voice or face that would suggest he really cared so much about that. It was the way it was. Perhaps the human didn't know what to do with something like him. Ah, his reactions were fascinating.

"...I do not need to go to a library, Shoutarou." The human had no idea. "I am a walking database." His fingers went to his own lips, a smile of delight about what he was. "I have a connection to the Gaia library. It has all the information of Earth, whether it is written or known or spoken. Whether it has been lost to ages. I am a walking database, a connection, an access to the library. I should have realized you were unaware of what you had stolen. You were not informed of the tool you took from them. Fascinating...." Taking his hand off the desk was a mistake, though, as he staggered once he wasn't focused on describing himself. He took a few steps to the side before leaning on the wall. "Perhaps I need to recharge..." Perhaps he had to recharge more frequently than at the lab. He should look into that.

What were these things held out to him? His eyes scanned over the menus, and then straight to Shoutarou like a confused child who honestly had no idea what he was looking at. _Wear? Clothes_? "Is what I'm wearing not good enough? It covers me. I have no use for other clothes. I do not need them." What did it matter what a tool was covered in as long as it served its purpose?

Shoutarou listened to the explanations with a quietly growing horror. _Nutrient pills? Database?_ What exactly had this kid been through? What kind of crazy brain-washing… "Gaia Library?" Shoutarou blinked, setting the menus aside and lifting a hand again, this time to touch Philip's cheek with the lightest of brushes. "Whatever knowledge you might have, I'm pretty sure you're human… Philip…And the boss asked me to look after you, so… that's what I'm gonna do." His hand moved, rustling the dark hair in, again, a mirror of his mentor.

"Human...?" The feeling from Shoutarou's hands was almost shocking and he recoiled very lightly. The gestures were so unfamiliar. Ah, and if he kept doing that he'd mess up the clip in his hair. Wasn't such a gesture unneeded? It just messed up hair and that didn't seem very efficient. He opened his mouth to argue but the other didn’t let him. How could he be human? He was nothing like that. He didn't understand emotions. Wasn't that what made someone human?

"You talk, you think… you breathe, you look, feel… human to me…" Not even wanting to give him a chance to argue, Shoutarou let his hand drop again, reaching for the menus. "And if you've never eaten _real_ food, then you've been missing out! Now, I don't have a lot of money right now, but Anthony's place, family-run - it's got some of the best deep dish pizza in the city…" Pulling out his cell phone, he offered Philip a smile. "I'll just order a pie with different quarters and you can try a bunch of flavors, tell me what you think okay? Maybe we can save the clothes topic for after we put something in our stomachs."

But humans had families. Philip didn't have a family. His stomach turned and his eyes widened. HIs hand shook slightly as he tried to process that. He didn't have memories before the lab. Wasn't he created to be a database? An easier way to communicate. But if he was such a tool...would he be able to do anything else? If he wasn't human, what was he? He'd never thought about that. Wasn't he just a tool? A walking database? But what good was allowing a walking database freedom? Granted, it wasn't allowed. It had been taken. But, if this feeling was just that he had to eat, which didn't seem like a program bug, then there was no protocol or anything that stopped him from doing only what _they_ wanted. What would be the use in designing something like that?

His eyes rested on the human...Shoutarou. Perhaps, he'd humor him. He didn't really agree with that fact that he was human, but he didn't know what he was. He'd see what Shoutarou thought about this. Perhaps, he could learn what humans were... what emotions were, through him.

Shoutarou kept his eyes on Philip while he made the phone call and placed the order, but he appeared to be lost in thought. Clicking the phone closed and placing it back in his pocket, he rubbed his stomach in a bit of exaggeration. "Food should be here in about 20 minutes, so… " What to do until then? Philip still looked awfully unstable and disconcerted… and if he didn't understand even such a simple concept as eating, then what other basic needs was he clueless about? Where should Shoutarou start in trying to fill in the holes?

"So… you didn't get to eat…" he started slowly, wanting, needing to probe, but trying to do so as delicately as possible. "Did… they… ever let you have…" He started to form the word 'fun', stopped, re-considered, and-- "…recreation, of any sort?"

"...Recreation?" Philip stared at him. The word was foreign to him again. And it was almost frustrating to him that it was. Was he not a walking database? Shouldn't he know everything? Then again, he only knew what he had accessed. What if he was a human who could access a database? Ah, but he still wasn’t so sure if he wanted to buy into that human nonsense just yet. There was still so much proof against it.

The part of him that was frustrated was quickly abandoned and covered up with his sudden excitement. There was so much he could learn from Shoutarou. Ah, but he still needed that blank book. He was useless without it. "I am unfamiliar with that term. Define recreation." He was actually asking this human to tell him something. How....inefficient. Then again, the library only had its knowledge because of humans...right? So...ah, humans thought so weirdly about things. Shoutarou's viewpoint would be so fascinating to explore! His smile widened, as he temporarily forgot about how hard it was to stand.

Shoutarou froze just a little when Philip smiled, momentarily taken aback by how much it changed his face, his demeanor… and he found himself smiling back, almost not listening to the words, to the question. But he must have done something right in asking that question to get such a response, so he continued straight down that train of thought. "Ah, well… everyone views the idea of recreation or playtime or fun," he gave a few others words to see if they would register, "…differently?"

Taking a step away from the desk, he gestured to the wall of disorganized books. "Some people think reading is recreation… some people think games are recreation, like… sports?" He gestured to the door with one thumb. "Or… I like to go play billiards sometimes, so, maybe we could do that together - but, uh, not right now, or we'll miss the pizza…"

There was no response, so he continued, "Recreation can be things you do not at home, like… going shopping… or to a park or a museum or, well, drinking, but I don't think you're old enough for that?" he raised an eyebrow as a form of query even as he concluded, "And some people prefer their recreation at home, like watching TV or listening to music."

That was a pretty well-rounded definition, wasn't it?

Shoutarou's definitions were not bad, but they were definitely not all they could be. Though, the concept would probably be foreign to Philip no matter what he did. He needed his book. However, that could wait. He was far too fascinated with Shoutarou. The way he moved. The subtle body language. He didn't know that much about it and suddenly he wanted to know everything. Everything about the boy in front of him. He wanted to know everything about Shoutarou. He was so fascinating. Ah, that last one was a question wasn't it? He wasn't sure. Not only was he so distracted by the other's...everything, but the way he spoke was so coded. It would take him forever to decipher it. _Ah._ He had a new project.

"I do not know my age. I have no memories before the laboratory. If I was human and existed before then, I have no memory of it." There was no sadness in his voice, though it was slightly strained. _Family._ Did he have one? Did they miss him, if he did? He felt as if he might have? A few moments ago, he was so sure and now... Ah, his head hurt.

"Well, it's not as if you have ID, so…" Shoutarou mused out loud, his mind starting to wander through possibilities. What would Philip be like drunk? How would he react to food shopping? A clothing store? Would he be fascinated by a museum or a garden or an arcade? If he was brilliant, would he be good at things like video games, or were his skills purely scientific and not useful in practical application? He wanted to know… wanted to know the answers to all of these questions, and he had the feeling that asking would do him no good at all.

No, they would have to experience each one of these things, and many more, …. together. He would show Philip the world… and how beautiful it was to be human.

Suddenly, he began to understand the magnitude of the project that Narumi had left to him.

_Start simple, Hidari…_

Crossing the room, he flipped a switch on the wall, his eyes flickering to Philip as music filtered into the room… a light pop jazz, his favorite station. The tinkle of the piano, the smooth brass… it somehow seemed to fit this rainy day where the endless gray was finally beginning to look like color to his eyes once more.

Philip opened his mouth to question just what Shoutarou was doing, though he was sure he really wouldn't be able to figure out much from the boy's words, and then stopped. "...Ah....." His eyes widened, the sound was... _beautiful_. It was soothing and carried so much to it. There was so much about this to figure out. What was this? How could making such sound be... "Ah, Shoutarou....what is this...? It's lovely..." His fingertips went to lips again, eyes wide in delight. The headache he had been developing was temporarily forgotten. The sound was just that soothing.

He would ask, and then he would... "Ah...Shoutarou... it is, though, really important that I get a blank book. I think I have come up with recreation for myself, however it will require... a book and perhaps some sort of surface for me to project things on as well. They had whiteboards, I believe they were called, at the lab, that I liked to use..." Too much too fast, Philip. He staggered slightly as he tried to walk forward. He was still too weak for that.

"It's music…" Shoutarou darted forward as Philip staggered, smoothly inserting an arm around his middle back to hold him up before even thinking about how the other would perceive said gesture. He was really pleased at Philip's reaction to the music, though… the… hint of emotion… he felt like he was seeing in the other boy's eyes and expression. "Here, come sit on the couch with me until the pizza gets here," he admonished gently, guiding him.

The touch was a bit startling to Philip, but he relaxed into it. He was simply just not used to people caring enough to treat him like that. Why would they care for something like him? And yet...Shoutarou did. Fascinating. He would definitely enjoy being here.

"You know, there's space in the basement, some boards the boss used to use for case work…" Shoutarou said thoughtfully. "As for the book, well… we might have a blank notebook laying around somewhere? But tomorrow we can go out for a ride, see if maybe we can find something more suitable for you?" He was certainly willing to try if it really meant that much to him. "Ah, maybe a journal of some sort would work?"

"The basement...ah...after Pizza could you show me? I would like to see if this space is fine." Though anything with boards was fine. He just needed a place to write - perhaps the pizza, what was that? It was food, right? - would help him think better. He was ecstatic at trying that out, definitely. "...A journal....ah..." Wasn't that what the one at the lab was? "After pizza, could we look for that as well?"

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door, and after making certain Philip was settled on the couch, Shoutarou moved to answer it. He paid the delivery boy with a generous tip, despite his tight cash flow, and carried the box into the room. Inhaling a huge whiff of the delicious smell, he set it down on the small table in front of the couch and moved off to get two hopefully clean cups from the kitchen for the cold bottle of soda. "Smells good, right?" he called over his shoulder to Philip, once again watching for his reaction.

The smell was unlike anything Philip had ever experienced. The only smells he had really known were that of the lab. The agency had been a change for him as it was, but this was on a whole different level. He found his mouth watering as some sort of reaction he couldn't control. That was...new. Carefully, his fingers traced the edge of the box, trying to quickly figure out where the opening was. _Ah. There._ Without much effort, he managed to open the box, only to stop and stare. How did he eat this? He looked at how the pizza was separated into slices, and all the different things on it. "....Is there a specific way to...eat...this? I am unsure..." It looked....interesting...

Shoutarou laughed as he strolled back over to the couch, his mood and his mannerisms much more easy-going than earlier. With the music playing, dinner set before them… things felt almost… no, not _normal_ , but… they felt okay. They felt like… maybe… just maybe… his heart could finally start beating again for the first time since Narumi had placed that hat on his head.

"If you eat it with a knife and fork, people will laugh at you," he joked, flopping down beside Philip on the couch so hard it made the other boy bounce a little. Setting the cups down, he poured the soda into both of them before setting the remainder of the bottle under the table. "Pizza's easy," he said, more serious this time. "You just pick it up and eat it." Aiming for a slice with mushrooms, he carefully eased a few fingers under the crust until he could pick it up, letting it fold just the slightest amount in the middle.

"Careful, though," he warned, turning the pizza to prepare for a first nibble. "...it's still pretty hot."

Biting his finger in curiosity, Philip watched how Shoutarou ate the pizza. Ah, that wasn't too hard. Quickly, he mimicked the other, grabbing a slice of pizza with mushrooms as well. _Hot?_ Ah, he would be careful anyway. Folding the pizza, he leaned forward and took a smile bite. _Ow_. He recoiled slightly, chewing carefully around the piece. It was definitely hot. But....His eyes widened. "It's good!" He spoke before biting into again, trying to not let the hot deter him. It was delicious. _More_ than delicious. "Is this what food is? What pizza is? It's fantastic! What's on it? How do they make it? How did people think of making this? How interesting!" Philip began to ramble as he took bite after bite of the pizza. He wanted to know everything about this delightful thing.

Shoutarou almost choked on the pizza as the questions came spilling out, attempting to chew and swallow before they became too numerous to answer. And yet… seeing Philip this delighted… it gave him a funny tickle in his chest. "These are mushrooms," he pointed to the piece he was holding, and then at the box. "That's pepperoni, that's…uh… a whole lot of vegetables… and that one is ham and pineapple, which when you put them together, it's called Hawaiian…" He didn't want to admit to not knowing the origins of pizza, so he skipped over that question entirely.

"Food's an even bigger topic than pizza toppings, though…" he added, taking another bite, wincing from the heat and snatching up his soda cup to cool off his mouth before continuing. "There's all kinds of food, all kinds of cuisine from around the world… so it'll take us awhile… but we can try new things anytime you want, okay?"

_Of course this kid is human!_ Shoutarou felt such a mix of emotions… anger and relief and frustration and delight… "Food is pretty amazing, isn't it?"

Quickly, Philip grabbed another slice, taking less time to wait for it to cool before trying to devour it. He wanted to finish eating this, as good as it was, so that he could research it. "Ah, Shoutarou. It's fantastic...and theres so much more?" He laughed for a moment before practically inhaling the slice. His headache had pretty much gone away. Food did that? It was like recharging but so much more convenient.

"I really would like to look for some sort of journal as soon as possible. I must research everything about pizza..." He picked up another slice, though after a few bites his stomach hurt almost as it as before he had started eating. "...There is a limit to how much one can have right...?" After all, if there was only so much he had to recharge, then food worked the same, right?

Shoutarou hadn't even finished his first slice as he watched Philip practically inhale a second one. "Yeah, you should slow down, especially if you've never eaten before… don't wanna see you get sick." Finishing his own slice, he nudged the cup of soda in the other boy's direction. "Have a drink while I go rummage around in the office looking for a book, okay?"

He took a moment to lick his fingers (which he wouldn't normally do in public, but this was home, and Philip was… well, he wasn't public…) before rising to his feet and ambling back towards the desk. Narumi had often documented stuff in various notebooks and files, so maybe...

Philip had had water before at least. Though, was it too much of assumption that this liquid was the same as it? It looks completely different, but it has the same consistency, and unlike water, it had a smell to it. Ah well. Bringing the cup to his lips, he took a small sip, and nearly dropped the cup. The... _texture_ to it was so... strange. He carefully took a few more sips. Pizza and whatever this was. He was going to have to research everything he could on this topic. Everything.

Quickly, he looked over to Shoutarou, so desperate for the book. Oh, and the basement, he had said too. He would need both of those.

Shoutarou had to bite back another laugh at Philip's reaction to the soda, but then he busied himself with looking through various shelves and drawers. He tried not to think too much about how this was all his now… how Narumi's hand-writing was all over everything… how he'd been too afraid to touch anything in the days since…

_Focus….Focus on Philip… he needs you…_

In the third drawer of the filing cabinet, he finally found some empty file folders, dividers, a tiny empty spiral notebook and… _hmm, maybe this…_? Scooping up both of the books, he strode back to the couch, sitting down beside Philip once more. "Well, I have no idea exactly what you're looking for…" He set the tiny spiral down first. "But we use this kind to this to take notes while we're out investigating…" And then he held a much larger book, leather-bound, with a shrug. "I don't know what this one's supposed to be for… could be a journal, or maybe meant for scrapbooking?" Reaching for the bottle of soda, he refilled his cup as he asked. "Do you want a pencil or a pen to write with…?"

Far too excited about having his book, Philip completely missed the look on Shoutarou's face. "Ah...This is perfect!" He grabbed the book, flipping through the pages. Blank. It would serve the purpose. "Ah, Shoutarou, you said there were whiteboards in the basement? Can you show me where these are?" He looked up to Shoutarou's face, confused by how many things he seemed to be conveying at once. Body language would have to be another thing he would have to research...and facial expressions. Even if he couldn't understand how emotions worked...perhaps through Shoutarou, he could learn. He could learn how to be human..if he really was one.

Shoutarou sipped at his second cup of soda, trying to hide his smile at having apparently pleased Philip with his findings. He still had no idea why the boy needed a blank book, but maybe he just intended to keep a lot of research notes? Research was a good skill to have in this business… many of their cases required researching things, and Shoutarou really hated that side of the job. Maybe… maybe together, they could somehow keep the agency running?

"Ah, sou…." he nodded, downing the last of his soda and setting the cup on the table. Standing up, he offered Philip a hand up, without thinking much of it. It was simply in his nature to be courteous, especially to someone he was trying to charm.

Wait… he was trying to charm Philip?

Shoutarou's cheeks tinted with pink and he glanced towards the door to the basement, stumbling over his words for the first time. "Umm… I, ah… I haven't… been down there in awhile, so…umm... it… might be a little cluttered, but…"

Philip was far too absorbed in himself to even begin to notice everything about Shoutarou. He'd later decide this was a shame, as the way the other's cheeks lit up would become a personal pasttime of his. And the way Shoutarou's voice tumbled over anything to do with Narumi Soukichi... he wouldn't learn until later to understand the twisting feeling in his stomach he would get every time the subject was brought up.

But for the moment, Philip still wasn't nearly human enough for that.

Instead, he turned to the other, the book clutched close to his face. His fingertips rushing over the cover and edges of the book, far too ecstatic by having his....his...THING again. It was more than anything to him. "It's fine. As long as it has markers and writing room, I can make do." The lab was never really cluttered, but he did tend to make a mess anyway. He wanted to show Shoutarou...he wanted to show Shoutarou what he was capable of... what he was. More than anything in the world. He wanted to see Shoutarou's reaction to it.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it has that…" Shoutarou continued to stand with his hand out to the other, watching with great amusement as he poured over the empty book. Eating seemed to have worked wonders, as Philip no longer looked quite so pale and shaky. Philip had seemed so agitated and weak and restless just a short while ago, but now he was full of life and excitement and yet… he was steadier. His presence made Shoutarou calmer too.. gave him something to focus on. He liked seeing this side of Philip a lot more, liked seeing the play of emotions on his face, and not just the strange, methodical lab talk that sounded so… robotic? It wasn't quite the right word for it, but Shoutarou didn't know how else to describe it. "Well, come on, then, and I'll take you downstairs."

"Then, it is perfect. Please, Shoutarou, Lead the way!" His voice rose in pitch as he bounced on his heels in excitement. He would be more than just a database. More than a tool. Even if he wasn't human, he could pretend. He could play. He could live, and there was a sudden realization that... he was... alive or free or something. The grin on his face grew behind the book as his eyes trailed over Shoutarou. He was perfect. He was everything Philip had never thought he could have. He wasn't sure of the words for the feeling in his chest, but he had never felt anything like it before in his whole life. He had never _felt_ anything before honestly. So this strong surge of emotion was... fantastic.

Giving up on his gesture being understood by the over-excited boy as he jumped to his feet on his own, the extended hand ended up in Shoutarou's hair with an awkward mumble. "Ah, mou……." Turning towards the door, his other hand hooked a thumb in his front pocket as he crossed the room to open it. He could practically feel Philip's excitement buzzing behind him like… like static electricity or something… As if on cue, lightning from the storm flashed outside as the door swung open, and a loud crack of thunder rumbled through the agency, making him jump a little in surprise.

The basement was dark and cool and Shoutarou's hand fumbled on the wall for the light switch, his heart suddenly hammering a little faster than it had been before - fear, excitement, nervous anxiety - he wasn't even certain of the cause.

Philip tottered behind the other, the book pressed even closer to his face. The lightning was more or less ignored, but he liked the way the light lip up the place. It was more or less... just like him. He wasn't sure where the idea had come from, or what it even meant. For someone who was supposed to be the smartest person, he felt like a child learning how to walk.

_Someone._ Ah. Was he human?

He could hear the other's heartbeat, which was strange. "Are you okay, Shoutarou?" Human's heartbeats were not supposed to be heard, and he quietly wondered if he had a heartbeat too. Perhaps he should look that up. If he did, did that make him human? What made someone human? Perhaps he should look that up too. His eyes scanned over the back of Shoutarou, waiting for him to go down the stairs.

Shoutarou flailed a little at the question, his voice rising in pitch. "Okay? Why wouldn't I be okay? Of course I'm okay. I'm fine - absolutely - totally - completely - " His hand finally found the light switch and the large room flooded with a dim fluorescent glow. " - fine…" He couldn't quite bring himself to look back at Philip again, not wanting to give away the confusing mix of emotions on his own face, so instead he just clambored down the stairs and onto the metal grating that served as a floor in the strange underground space.

It was cold down here, colder than he remembered, and a little shiver went up his spine as he walked slowly towards the single whiteboard in the corner, the piles of books strewn haphazardly beside another desk. The board was mostly blank, except for the upper lefthand corner, where, in Narumi's hand-writing, a giant "W" had been written, underlined twice. Shoutarou blinked when he saw it, but said nothing, because it was just… too big a can of worms to want to crack open at the moment. Too painful, too confusing, too...

Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, as they probably hadn't even been down here in a week or two, and he set about searching for the markers he vaguely remembered seeing the boss use with the board from time to time.

The other's voice was weird, and Philip found his smile waning even though he was beyond fascinated on just Shoutarou. There was now an uneasiness about the other. He didn't understand it at all. Emotions were so confusing because he didn't feel uneasy... but the other did. He felt suddenly uneasy _because_ of the other. What were emotions? He had never felt anything really in his life... So why did he feel it suddenly now? Why was... He followed down after the other, looking around the place. It was perfect. Well... "It could use more whiteboards. I fill up the space fast... but it will do for now." He walked over to the W and stared.

"Ah, so he knew about the project then. I wonder who told him." The information was far too classified for him to get it any other way. Perhaps he should look into that as well. Ah, so many things to research. What would he even look into first? The grip on his book tightened.

"Project…?" Shoutarou said without thinking, and then, as he finally found some markers - green, purple, black - "Aha!" He straightened, holding them up rather triumphantly, with a smile attempting to crowd out his unease. "Found a few! And there's some pencils and pens in that top drawer if you want something to write in that book with…" He pointed to the leather-bound book with the markers and to the desk with his other hand. "And yeah, I'm sure we can get you some more boards somewhere…"

Philip turned to him. "Would you like me to research that for you? Perhaps it would be more beneficial than pizza or soda, though I am so excited to learn more about that." He was always told not to do whatever he wanted, but now he could... but perhaps, just once, he'd indulge the other first? Besides, they were W, and the other knew very little about the tools they had. About their union. And suddenly Philip wondered what the effects of the W driver were on them. Ah, he really should look all of that up. He took the green marker and turned. "I think that is what I will Look-Up. Considering that we are W. We will need to know everything about what we are. Correct?"

Shoutarou's eyes flickered from the W on the whiteboard to the boy in front of him, another strange chill going through him at the words 'we are W'… He hadn't thought back a lot on the events of _that night_ , on the fighting, the belts, that suit, on… on the strange _union_ of their minds. Right now, it all felt like some weird sort of hallucination he'd had… "I don't… know very much about it…" he admitted carefully. "Is that… were you… I mean…" Argh, why were words suddenly so hard? "Is that what you were working on, at that place…?"

"I was working on other memories. Gaia memories like the dopants were using." He stepped back. "Though, W was mine too. It was scrapped, as it was seen as... too watered down compared to the other memories. The memories we have are not as potent as to prevent addiction. The combination of minds also prevents us from...." His mind faltered as he thought on Fang. "Losing control...." That feeling was... He swallowed nervously, suddenly going pale. He never wanted to feel that ever again. Loss of control. He wanted to be in control. Be useful. That power was... Shoutarou wasn't strong enough at holding it back. Philip was also simply not meant to be the body. He would have to teach him the proper way to do this.

"That is that. I will start the Look-Up." Unceremoniously dropping the marker, Philip extended his hands. He glowed green slightly, his 'data self' leaving him for the library, though he was still completely footed in the physical world. "Keywords?" He asked, though he supposed the other didn't know how this worked. "Keywords are words that I use like a search function. For instance, in this case. Keywords: W. Gaia Memory... I need one more." But, he simply couldn't think of one, and there were still too many books on the shelves.

Shoutarou listened to the explanation about the Gaia memories, a topic he did have some familiarity with, then frowned as he saw Philip's expression change to one of distress again. But before he could say, do, ask anything about it, the boy in front of him… started to _glow_.

Shoutarou dropped the markers he was holding.

… _humans don't glow_

… _....but humans eat_

… _.............what is he?_

"K-keywords?" The whirling confusion of the previous topic suddenly felt far less clear to Shoutarou as he stood there, jaw-dropped and eyes wide in surprise - but not fear. He'd been joined with Philip in a very intimate way during that night, and he couldn't help but know that there was nothing to fear from his… he stumbled over the last word in his thoughts… _partner_.

That's right… they were _partners_. Two in one. A single… "….Kamen Rider."

A small smile etched itself onto Philip's face as he heard the last word. The books were quickly narrowed down to one. 'Kamen Rider W' it said on the cover. "Perfect. We are truly meant to be, partner." His eyes opened as he flicked open the blank book and searched through the pages. "Kamen Rider W. A Kamen Rider formed by the joining of two people, one of which who has a connection to the Gaia Library, allowing them to call upon the memory of the Earth to fight. Memories include for the left side: Joker, which is hand-to-hand combat." He took the marker from the floor and started to write all over the board, ecstatic. So ecstatic that he kept switching between languages as he wrote. "Trigger, which is gun or projectile based. Metal, which is a rod, and used for bo-staff like attacks. The right side has: Cyclone, which is wind. Heat, which is fire. And Luna, which is special effects, in a sense." He continued to rattle off everything from how Shoutarou was the main body except for with Fang or how they were connected, and if they let each other, even without the belt, they would eventually be psychically linked to the other. Within minutes, the board was filled with notes in every language imaginable.

Shoutarou listened, watched, as Philip began to write, but as the languages began to shift, it only became more confusing. He knew a little of this and a little of that, but not enough… not enough to follow the speaking, to read all the writing, not enough to _understand_ and it frustrated him.

It fascinated him.

It overwhelmed him.  
  
Why was Narumi not here to help?

He felt suddenly weak in the knees, and stumbling back a step, he found the desk chair and collapsed into it as Philip continued to …to… whatever the hell it was that he was doing. Researching? Look-Up?

For the first time, Shoutarou began to wonder about the magnitude of what exactly he'd gotten himself into… and so very in shock, he did not even notice the twin tears that ran down his cheeks as he continued to be mesmerized by what was happening right before his eyes.

As he finished, Philip looked over the board at his work. Normally, the scientists never watched him. They never cared. There had never been anyone to look over him as he worked, and he truly did wonder what he looked like. As he turned to the other with a manic grin on his face, as he was more than delighted to have this experience, his smile dropped fast as he actually saw the other. "Ah, Shoutarou?" He was confused. He knew nothing about emotions, but the feelings came in clear. _Ah... is this the psychic resonance?_ He wondered what were his emotions and what were the other's emotions? Did he even have emotions? Was the twisted feeling of something he couldn't name his... or the other's? "Is something wrong?" How did he even know something was wrong? He wasn't even sure anymore. He wasn't sure.

He took a few moments to walk over and stare at the other. There was an emotion he was not able to read. "...Why are you... _crying_?" Wasn't that what it was? There were things he suddenly knew about things he hadn't ever known. Words that made no sense. Were they his or Shoutarou's? He reached forward... and wiped the tears from those eyes. "Don't cry, partner," he said quickly. The gesture was something familiar... something from... from _before_ the lab, and suddenly he felt sick. _Before the lab?_

"Am I…?" Shoutarou's voice was just a little raspy as Philip wiped the tears from his eyes with one thumb, and he might have blushed from crying in front of anyone, but… he was still too shell-shocked by everything that had happened. Everything he'd been trying so hard not to even deal with... "Partner…" Shoutarou's eyes closed for a moment, grateful for the touch, for the contact, for the comfort he'd had so little of in his life, even from Narumi. It was… both foreign... and natural... at the same time, but he didn't really have time to dwell on the idea. He'd dwell later, an insomniac at the desk watching the rain, trying to find peace with the strange cards life had dealt him. But right now...

Wasn't he supposed to be the one caring for and comforting Philip? How had that gotten turned around on him so very quickly? He was being far too soft… he needed to be strong… a suitable man... hard-boiled… He could both see and feel the discomfort in Philip, and he would much rather put the other at ease. Still, trying to drag up a lifetime of walls… walls that didn't _work right_ with this person… was… difficult.

Reaching up to grab Philip's hand, he squeezed it gently in thanks and managed to muster a small smile. "I'll be okay," he started again, rising to his feet, looking over Philip's shoulder at the notes on the board. "But Philip, I… I can't read all these languages the way you can… so if you want me to understand, you're gonna have to translate all this… research… into something I do know.." Walking towards the board, he found sections in English, Spanish, French, German… all of these, he knew a smattering of, but…was that one some form of Arabic? Some he didn't even _recognize_. "Can you do that?"

The closeness was both soothing and alarming. Philip had never been this close to another person in his entire life. Never. And the way his emotions and the other's emotions poured through him... he wasn't even sure how he was supposed to feel anymore. There were _senses_ and _ideas_ and...

Shoutarou's voice broke his train of thought.

"....Ah!" He spoke quickly, looking over the board. "I hadn't even realized that I wasn't writing in only Japanese..." He had been told by the scientists that sometimes when speaking, he would switch languages...a habit he had long been 'taught' out of... However, he'd never been so free in writing before... He had accidentally lost focus. "I apologize, partner. I am not used to... having so much freedom." He smiled nervously and started pointing to different things, explaining and looking at the other. The other wasn't him. He would have to make sure Shoutarou could understand him.

"I don't care if it's easier for you to do it this way," Shoutarou amended quickly, not wanting to insult or smother the incredible gifts his partner had. "As long as you don't mind taking the time to explain it to me…" And that was all Shoutarou managed to get out before he grew intrigued by Philip's explanations of the various powers those belts and that suit had. Coming up behind Philip, Shoutarou leaned an easy hand on his shoulder, pointing at the board with his other hand, pinky ring glinting in the light. "So… it seems like the, uh… half… that I was using has a lot of the very physical abilities…" His hand shifted, pointed again. "And you've got… a lot of elemental things?"

His memories of that night were a little blurry - hadn't there been another way they'd used it that wasn't mentioned here? Still, there was way more information than he could even process in one sitting, so he didn't bother to press. "But I don't need to worry about your half and you don't need to worry about mine? I mean, what if… what if we want to do two different things at the same time and just… "

Shoutarou had trouble imagining that anyone's thoughts could be that fluid with another's, to work together in such a way… you'd have to both know and trust each other what seemed like an awful lot.

"We are compatible," Philip said quickly. "Not everyone is able to use your half of the driver. Your memories. Not everyone is compatible with me, but you are." He nodded a few times before his eyes darted to Shoutarou's hand, a soft smile on his face. The touch was soothing. "When we henshin, we become one. You can feel me and I can feel you. We have a connection now even without henshining. However..." He looked up over the words. "As time goes by, we will become more and more connected. Right now, we are still feeling the other out. We are not in sync just yet. But that day will come. It's almost like... a twin telepathy type of idea, such as... being able to finish the other's sentences... understand the other's feelings." There was a lot to it, and Philip couldn't wait to have that sort of connection.

"I do not think I could have anyone better than you to be my partner, honestly. From what I have seen, you complement me perfectly."

As Philip spoke, Shoutarou turned slowly, letting his other hand settle on Philip's shoulder until he was holding him by both shoulders, meeting his eyes as he spoke. He didn't want to believe it, hadn't wanted to admit it until he heard it from Philip first, but… he knew it was all true. He'd been feeling the ripples of Philip's emotions - from anxiety and distress to wonder and joy to excitement and confusion - woven in with his own, and he wondered if thoughts would eventually follow, the way they had while wearing those belts. It was a little unnerving, having someone so far into his personal space, and yet, here they were… barely knowing each other, and still standing nose to nose.

Shoutarou had always been a loner - well-liked, with many contacts, an ability to charm girls (or boys, admittedly) - but never with anyone he could really trust, really form… a _bond_ … with... Narumi was his mentor and that was a very different sort of thing to him, very different than _this_ …

_Did Narumi intend for this outcome? Or was it a coincidence?_

"I…" Shoutarou started, his cheeks coloring once again at the compliment of being a complement. "I'm along for the ride," he started, soft but not hesitant. "I'm with you from now on, every step of the way... right here to the left of you." He couldn't speak with Philip's knowledge and certainty about the belts, about W… but he could speak from his heart. "I think… we were meant to be partners."

_Meant for each other._

And that was, somehow, terrifyingly wonderful.


End file.
